Jamie Hardhat

Huckle! This is party food!

2012-01-25T08:52:00.000-05:00

In this first month of living without fast food, I have taken to reminding the kids (and myself) that fast food is best used as a treat, not a regular source of nutrition.
I remember trips to McDonald's being a special occasion when I was a kid (it was big news when Anacortes, Washington finally got a McDonald's) and treats like the Turtle Sundae and McNuggets were brand new (anybody else remember the Chicken McNugget action figures that came with Happy Meals?).
Now that I am a parent, I have found myself making almost daily trips to McDonald's for a sweet tea, McDouble and small fries. $3.27. "Hey kids, you can get three things each, but only off the dollar menu." Way to go, Mom! You just fed you and your kids for under $10! I used to congratulate myself that way.
I realize now that I was teaching my children to indulge in convenience on a regular basis instead of being deliberate about their eating habits.

When my children were small, they loved Richard Scarry's Busytown books. "The Best Mistake Ever" detailed a trip to the grocery store by Huckle Cat and his friend Lowly Worm. Mother Cat provides a shopping list of things she needs from the store including cream, apples, butter, oranges and potatoes. Huckle forgets the shopping list, and his friend Lowly helps him do the shopping based on his memory. With Lowly's "help," Huckle buys ice cream (instead of cream), apple pie (instead of apples), peanut butter (instead of butter), orange soda (instead of oranges), and potato chips (instead of potatoes). Mother Cat is very upset with Huckle's purchases, saying, "Huckle! This is party food!"
Wow. Party food? Ice cream, pie, peanut butter, soda, potato chips ... isn't that part of the regular shopping list for a red-blooded American citizen?
It made me think about the short-cut food that I feed my family on a regular basis. Am I truly providing nutrition, or am I teaching my kids that convenience food is a part of a regular diet?
Just something more to consider in my year-long "fast food fast."

REALLY? Are you sure? No TACO BELL?

2012-01-09T19:42:00.001-05:00

Our family has been mulling over this "no fast food" pledge I have made with myself.

The most difficult challenge so far has been Taco Bell.

The Taco Party Pack has been a featured favorite of the Hatfield family when I am late coming home, rushing to soccer, or too tired to cook dinner. It's cheap, delicious, and it's fast food.

There are many arguments swirling around the Hatfield home regarding the definition of fast food and the wisdom of eschewing such a practical dinner standby.

It comes down to this: DELIBERATION. I want to live deliberately. I want to eat deliberately. I want to be intentional about what we put into our bodies, and the way we eat together. We will eat dinner together as a family. We will not rely on fast food to feed our stomachs and our souls.

For 2012, at least, we are even turning our back on the Taco Party Pack.

And, for the first time in a while, I am starting down the end of my first half of the monthly food budget in the black. I haven't even had to dip into extra money, because I haven't allowed myself to have any. The kids and I have even treated ourselves to Sweet Frog two times, we have eaten out as a family at (slow food) restaurants on occasion and had the opportunity to give from our surplus as well.

So far, we have saved and paid down a little over $5,000 in debt, just from money we had saved over the holidays. That means $500 in the Disney fund, and we're well on our way to dumping the $30,000 home equity line. That's enough motivation for me to even turn my back on Taco Bell.

2012

2011-12-31T10:03:00.001-05:00

"When presently the twelfth stroke of the clock shall have sounded, we stand again at the opening of a new year... He knows all the trouble that this year shall burden your heart.... And therefore do not fear and neither be afraid, but now at the change of years, in childlike confidence grasp the faithful hand of that Father who is in heaven."
- Abraham Kyper

Why Wait?

2011-12-29T10:28:00.001-05:00

Three days until I am officially no longer purchasing fast food.

Three days until I am no longer driving through to pick up a McDouble and a Sweet Tea.

Three days until I won't allow myself to drive through for a Happy Meal just so I don't have to pack a lunch for the kids.

Three days until I will need to make my own homemade mocha (1 pack of cocoa + 1 cup of coffee, stir, get fancy with a little whipped cream on top) instead of driving through Starbucks or McDonald's. Yeah, I realized Starbucks counts as fast food when I realized they have a drive-through. But some don't ... is this getting hung up on a technicality? I'll have to ask Lennie Freeman, the one who started me on this "fast food fast."

Three days until I replace nutrition and common sense with convenience and laziness.

Three days until I eat deliberately instead of on a whim.

Three days until I take control of my habits instead of letting them rule me.

So, why wait three days? Why not start now? I only have $9.00 left in my food budget for the month. Why waste that on trashy food? Is a so-called value meal that valuable to me anyway?

What a long, strange trip this will be

2011-12-27T07:45:00.000-05:00

I have retooled things a bit as I turn my sights toward 2012.
In 2011, we got rid of our TV. It was an old RCA console monstrosity that was ancient when we obtained it second-hand in 1999. To part with it was not a heartbreak for me, especially since we can watch TV on hulu.com and espn.com, and nbcsports.com... the possibilities are mind-blowing for the modern family. But we have eliminated our television, and that helps our budget, and makes us a little weird.
Thanks to a dare from a high-school friend, I have also decided to cut fast food -- any restaurant with a drive-through -- from my (and my children's) diets for one year. Again ... a little weird, but it could help my food budget, cholesterol level, and improve the health of my family.
My husband and I have a goal to pay off our remaining debt (not counting our home) of $30,000. It's a home equity line we took out a while back to pay for a used car, a new porch and new ceilings in the downstairs of our 1926 home. Repairs needed to be made, but we just didn't have the cash on hand. Since we've started applying principles we learned in Financial Peace University, we have paid off around $24,000 in consumer debt, and are beginning to pay down this line of credit.
We are getting ambitious this year. We think we can pay this off in 2012.
It will require significant sacrifice on the part of everyone in our family, but we're excited to finally be free from this chain tying us down.
My blog posts may be a little strange this year ... counter-cultural, confessional, and a little crazy. I promise I won't try to convert you, and I'll try not to make you feel sorry for me (although at times, I'm sure I will be a little pathetic). I hope you'll follow along with me on this journey, and cheer me on when I need a little encouragement.

A glamorous day in the life of a church administrator

2011-04-22T14:41:00.001-04:00

5:30 a.m.
Wake up, read the Bible and pray

6:30 a.m.
Prepare breakfast for the family, get husband off to work

8:00 a.m.
Prepare list of chores and school work for the kids
Update church website and Facebook pages to reflect EASTER 2 Days Away ...
Promote Easter and Easter Egg Hunt on social media

9:00 a.m.
Leave to take husband's breakfast and lunch to him at work (he forgot it on the steps when he was saying goodbye to the kids)
Go to the church building to prepare the screen for Easter services
Research background loops for Easter services
Meet with a beautiful single mother to give her a check from the church to help her get through the costs at the Department of Motor Vehicles - do an impromptu counseling session and agree with her that she needs to meet with someone much more qualified than me...
Meet the carpet cleaners and thank them for getting our building ready for Easter Sunday
Do an estimate of the Easter Eggs that were filled by our terrific volunteers and assess whether we need more candy
Review our guest gifts for Easter Sunday and the goody bags for the Easter Egg Hunt

11:00 a.m.
Pick up Easter Bunny costume from the rental shop
Refrain from texting the guy who will be dressing up as the Easter Bunny to tease him mercilessly about the amount of pink in the costume...

1:00 p.m.
Download some seriously cool looping backgrounds for Easter Sunday from www.worshiphousemedia.com

2:00 p.m.
Review Sunday's schedule using the free version of www.planningcenteronline.com and make sure we have someone to do a communion meditation in our super early 8:00 Easter service
Call Easter Egg Hunt volunteers to remind them and thank them for serving God and our community.
Text the guy who will be dressing up as the Easter Bunny ... but don't tease him. Thank him.
Thank God for blessing me with a job where I can serve him and pray that I honor him with my actions, attitudes and desires.

One day spent in your house, this beautiful place of worship,
      beats thousands spent on Greek island beaches.
   I'd rather scrub floors in the house of my God
      than be honored as a guest in the palace of sin.
   All sunshine and sovereign is God,
      generous in gifts and glory.
   He doesn't scrimp with his traveling companions.
      It's smooth sailing all the way with God-of-the-Angel-Armies. - Psalm 84:10 (the Message)

Bookmark Books!

2011-01-19T08:37:00.000-05:00

What a great "twist" on book reports! We're starting this one today.

Bookmark Books by Susan Gaylord

Dancing in the Minefields - Dorwin & Mavy Stoddard

2011-01-10T15:07:00.001-05:00

This morning I took Tim to work in the Volvo that can handle snow a little better than the other car. There is a possibility of some weather, and didn't want Tim to have treacherous travel on the way home.

As we headed toward the office, I turned on NPR to hear the latest about the voting in Sudan and catch up on other news. In a report about the Arizona shootings, I heard about Dorwin Stoddard, one of the victims of the attack.

Dorwin Stoddard

Mr. Stoddard was 76, and with his wife, was an active leader in the benevolence ministry at Mountain Avenue Church of Christ. His heart ached for the sick and homeless, and participated in numerous construction projects for the church and for those in need.

Dorwin and his wife Mavy were high school classmates in Tucson who moved away and married other people. When their spouses passed away, they both moved back to Tucson, got reacquainted, and were married in their sixties.

Their minister, Mike Nowak, said, "they normally go out to breakfast every Saturday." This past weekend, Mavy told her minister she had wanted to meet her congresswoman and tell Ms. Giffords she was doing a good job.

When the shooting started, Dorwin dropped to the ground and covered his wife Mavy. She was shot in the leg but survived, and talked to Dorwin for 10 minutes until he stopped breathing.

When Tim and I studied "Love and Respect" as one of Living Water Christian Church's Watering Hole small groups a couple years ago, I was struck by the understanding that Tim loved me so much he would lay down his life for me willingly, no questions asked. That kind of selfless, sacrificial love is something I can not only appreciate and honor, but deeply respect. I pray that Tim never has to make the kind of decision that Dorwin made - a decision that was unthinking and instantaneous, to protect the woman God gave him to love for the rest of his days - but I know Tim would make that decision. In a nanosecond.

Driving him to work this morning, I sobbed as I heard that story. I sobbed for Mavy and for Dorwin, but I sobbed with the understanding that God had given me the same gift of love in my husband, Tim.

Forgive me, Lord, when I take him for granted, and when I fail to respect him with the honor he is due.

"Dancing in the Minefields" by Andrew Peterson:

I was nineteen, you were twenty-one
The year we got engaged
Everyone said we were much too young
But we did it anyway

We bought our rings for forty each
From a pawn shop down the road
We made our vows and took the leap
Now fifteen years ago

We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for

"I do" are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I've heard
Is a good place to begin

'Cause the only way to find your life
Is to lay your own life down
And I believe it's an easy price
For the life that we have found

And we're dancing in the minefields
We're sailing in the storm
This is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for

So when I lose my way, find me
When I loose love's chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith, till the end of all my days
When I forget my name, remind me

'Cause we bear the light of the Son of Man
So there's nothing left to fear
So I'll walk with you in the shadowlands
Till the shadows disappear

'Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos, baby,
I can dance with you

Simply Christmas

2010-12-09T10:23:00.002-05:00

This year is a little different.

To help everyone focus on Jesus this year, we have simplified.

My side of the family exchanges names, so Tim and I bought just two gifts, including a donation to Heifer International, to help families in developing countries. We bought 5 shares toward the purchase of a goat.

Tim's side of the family no longer exchanges names for adults. We used to exchange adult names, then all get presents for the grandkids/grand-nieces/grand-nephews. Now the adults exchange names for the kids, and make a donation toward a family in need. This way, the kids just receive a few things, and the adults are able to bless someone in the name of Jesus instead of accumulating more and more stuff.

Tim and I have simplified our giving to the kids and to each other as well. Our major purchase was a donation to our church's Beyond Our Valley Christmas Offering. We bought one toy present for the kids (scooters for family time and exercise - sssshhhh, don't tell!), plus a few clothing items and their stocking stuffers.

We want Christmas to mean something more than just presents. We will be baking holiday goodies to give away to neighbors and friends at church with the intent of blessing them in the name of Jesus. We will be buying canned goods to donate to our church's food basket giveaway in the name of Jesus. We will intentionally give of ourselves without expectation of receiving anything but God's smile. We will give.

"This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again." - John 3:16-17 (the Message)

Our Christmas Cards!

2010-12-03T08:59:00.001-05:00

Good Blessings Religious Christmas 5x7 folded card

Shop Shutterfly for elegant custom Christmas photo cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Every Story Whispers His Name

2010-09-24T06:51:00.000-04:00

The kids and I have recently been overdosing on Focus on the Family's Radio Theatre dramatizations of the Chronicles of Narnia, so I suggested a break.

We began listening to the Jesus Storybook Bible on CD. We have been reading it as a supplement to our Bible curriculum in home school, but hadn't listened to the accompanying CDs yet.

Imagine our delight to hear the same intonations and rhythm in the vocalization as we heard from the character of "Aslan" in the Narnia CDs! We all looked at each other in stunned silence and wondered if it could be the same man. It was! David Suchet is the voice of the Jesus Storybook Bible. I can't tell you how much more meaningful it is for us to hear how "every story whispers His Name" when it comes from such a friendly, lordly, great voice that we have come to love.

The kids and I highly recommend this terrific Bible and resource for all ages.

More information can be found here at Zondervan.

First, they came for the Muslims...

2010-08-20T07:00:00.000-04:00

To be perfectly honest with you, the raging debate over the zoning issue in Manhattan regarding the mosque and activity center a few blocks from the site of the terrorist attacks 9 years ago has really not interested me. I tend to avoid most news, because it just depresses and frustrates me. Thank the Lord, we do not have cable, so I am not subjected to 24-hour news coverage of everything in America that the talking heads think is important (but really isn't). I read Scripture, then look through my local newspaper in the morning, check in on what my friends think is important on their blogs and Facebook, then go about my joyful day, occasionally checking in with NPR for Morning Edition or All Things Considered.

Yesterday, I listened more to Morning Edition than I usually do, since my kids were not in the car and not clamoring to listen to "Deliberate Kids" or "They Might Be Giants." Morning Edition played a clip I remember hearing 9 years ago, and I remember being so grateful and overcome with emotion for the words and the president we had at the helm of our nation following the terrorist attacks.

President Bush said, "I also want to speak tonight directly to Muslims throughout the world. We respect your faith. It is practiced freely by many millions of Americans, and by millions more in countries that America counts as friends. Its teachings are good and peaceful and those that commit evil in the name of Allah blaspheme the name of Allah."

Many Republican - and even Democrat - politicians are using this issue to attack the other side, and President Obama. It's become a terrible mess that I'd just rather tune out.

However, again on Morning Edition, I heard Newt Gingrich (from a program on Fox News) invoke the Nazis in his rant against the mosque. He said, "The Nazis don't have the right to put up a sign next to the Holocaust Museum in Washington. We'd never accept the Japanese putting up a site next to Pearl Harbor. There's no reason for us to accept a mosque next to the World Trade Center."

Normally, I think Newt is a pretty level-headed thinker. I tend to listen to him when he speaks. So this brought me up short. And I started to think about the Nazis and the way they targeted people for their ancestry, their race, their religion, and the essence of what made them different from the Nazis. The Nazis began by limiting freedom, then they escalated their hatred to horrors that still shock the world. I was horrified as I began to wonder which typifies the Nazis more: insensitivity to those hurt by their actions, or the attempt to restrict the freedoms of those they hate?

On January 6, 1946, a pastor by the name of George Neimoller gave a speech before representatives of the Confessing Church in Frankfurt. His words should remind all of us, but especially Christians, of the dangers of limiting religious freedoms in America.

Neimoller said, "They came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for me and by that time no one was left to speak up."

Now, I'm not going to get into the facts of where the mosque is planned to be built, why it's going to be built, or even who is arguing against it or defending it.

I just want us all to take a breath and consider the ramifications of limiting religious freedom in America. If we limit the Muslims in where they can build a house of worship, what's next?

David Ramadan, a member of a group of prominent Muslim Republicans, wisely said, "If 2 blocks is too close, is 4 blocks acceptable? Or 6 blocks? Or 8 blocks? Does our party believe that one can only practice his or her religion in certain places with defined boundaries and away from the disapproving glances of some other citizens?"

As Neimoller warned us 64 years ago, if "they come" for the Muslims, who's next? Will there be anyone left to speak up for the freedom of Christians? Think about it.

Jesus said, "'Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.' This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' These two commands are pegs; everything in God's Law and the Prophets hangs from them." - Matthew 22:37-40 (the Message)

Knock, Knock

2010-07-26T16:33:00.002-04:00

While driving in the car today:

WILKIN: Knock, Knock
ME: Quien esta?

WILKIN: Uhhhh
ME: That means "who's there" in Spanish.

WILKIN: Don't do it in Spanish.
ME: Okay.

WILKIN: Knock, Knock
ME: Thoo's Hair?
WILKIN: MOMMY!
ME: Sorry. Try again.

WILKIN: Knock, Knock
ME: Who's there?
WILKIN: OK, this joke is going to be a little bit different.
ME: OK, this joke is going to be a little different WHO?

uproarious laughter from the backseat...

More thoughts on Twilight (Eclipse in particular)

2010-07-05T09:17:00.001-04:00

Since I couldn't write it better myself, I'm posting the conclusion of Plugged In's (Focus on the Family's movie review service) Eclipse review. The body of the review is helpful as well, especially if you're trying to decide if there is anything positive about this movie - and guess what? - there is! Just read the review.

Here is the conclusion of the review by Paul Asay, which makes the most sense I've read in a long time about this series and Eclipse in particular.

CONCLUSION

Before walking into The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, I expected the audience to consist mostly of girls in the 13 to 18 age range. You know, the demographic that might go to a Justin Bieber concert.

I was wrong.

Granted, there were plenty of young women. But many were in their 30s and 40s. Even 50s. And let me tell you, they were into it: They cheered kisses. They cheered shirtless appearances. They saved their biggest hurrah for Edward's proposal. I don't know whether this was the "Team Edward" vs. "Team Jacob" dynamic at work, or whether these fans were just absorbed in the story, but they couldn't help applauding whenever any of 'em exchanged lip gloss.

In short, these viewers were engrossed in the film's fantasy world—and I'm not talking about the whole vampire-and-werewolf fantasy. I'm talking about the film's fantastical view of love. Eclipse, like all the Twilight films, is far more about romance than horror. And almost all romances, by their very nature, idealize both love and the lovers involved.

In some ways, that's manifested pretty positively here, and some of these values should be idealized. It's great to see Edward being so careful with Bella's virtue and so gentlemanly throughout, for instance. More folks in the real world should aspire to such chivalry.

But Eclipse takes that romanticism to another level, giving us two male protagonists who are practically godlike: Edward is a knight in shining skin who props his beloved Bella on a pedestal; Jacob is a dark-haired pinup idol, sensitive and vulnerable even as he's virile and strong. They are creatures of pure imagination—preternaturally powerful and kind and desirable and desirous. No wonder teens who are still mulling what true love looks like are attracted to these characters. No wonder grown women—many of them who fell in love, got married and found their relationships weren't wall-to-wall passion and joy forever and ever—find themselves drawn to them, too. (emphasis mine -jeh)

In this sense, I suspect The Twilight Saga, particularly Eclipse, feeds our already unrealistic, sky-high expectations about what romantic relationships should look like. I don't think a lot of teens will walk out wishing to be vampires or werewolves. But many of them (and more than a few adults, it would seem) may pine for the sort of love and attention Bella receives from her supernatural suitors.

The film—which is better artistically than the first two—has some other problems as well. I mourn the fact that Bella is so bent on becoming a vampire. Setting aside, for a minute, the ethics of becoming undead, the fact she wants to jump into this irreversible decision feels terribly hasty. Bella's own father comes across as practically powerless to influence his daughter's life, yet another reason for sorrow. (emphasis mine -jeh) Eclipse is also darker and more violent than the first two entries in the franchise. The decapitation scenes in particular were especially jarring. And sex is obviously becoming a bigger and bigger issue for Edward and Bella.

As I left the theater, though, I thought less about those things and more about the American inclination to idealize love. That inclination can sometimes make real love—an undeniably great and wonderful but complex roller coaster—feel a little like a disappointment.

It's telling, perhaps, that Eclipse's supposed love triangle isn't much of a triangle at all. Bella is Edward's girl. She always was, always will be. She chooses a charming, bloodless, idealized man over one of flesh and blood who's arguably more fallible, more real.

And I can't help but wonder, how many Twilight fans are being encouraged to shop for love in the very same way?

From Paul Asay's review on Plugged In: http://www.pluggedin.com/movies/intheaters/twilightsagaeclipse.aspx

My Issues With Twilight

2010-07-01T14:47:00.000-04:00

"In the end everything will be all right, nothing can harm you permanently; no loss is lasting, no defeat more than transitory, no disappointment is conclusive. Suffering, failure, loneliness, sorrow, discouragement and death will be part of your journey, but the kingdom of God will conquer all of these horrors. No evil can resist grace forever." - Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

I've read the entire Twilight series, and seen every movie that has come out so far. While Stephenie Meyer is not a terrific author, and the movies don't meet my high standard of quality in filmmaking, I have been reasonably entertained. The storyline is fascinating and very creative (witness all the people trying to copy it - from True Blood to The Gates).

Down through history, many stories have featured romantic love and obsession, and the books allude to stories such as Romeo and Juliet and Wuthering Heights to (not-so-subtly) flesh out the relationships in Twilight. Just as in works by Shakespeare and Bronte, these characters are consumed with themselves and with each other. Twilight's prose is of a lesser quality, but the themes are not new.

However, as a wife and a mother, I have some deeper issues with the series and its characters.

BELLA:

Bella is a whiny, bratty, self-absorbed girl, and I don't want my daughter to be anything like her. She is described as plain, klutzy, very ordinary. That's fine. Every teenage girl feels this way, whether she admits it or not. However, Bella somehow manages to attract a beautiful, "perfect" specimen and his every desire is directed toward her. As a former teenager, I can tell you that this is a recipe for disaster. She is now desired for her scent, her blood, and sex. He wants her body and soul, and she is all too willing to give it all up for him.

This flies in the face of the wisdom taught to us in Proverbs - the desire of particular types of people (and to be desired BY them) invites destruction. The opposite of wisdom is death. Bella comes to see death as a desirable outlet, and living without her boyfriend is impossible. Wow. I am teaching my daughter to be obsessed with Jesus, and her mind, soul and strength belong to him. While she may marry someday, her first love is Jesus. God's blessings will be given to her through her husband. Her husband should not be the center of her existence.

EDWARD AND THE VAMPIRES:

He is so beautiful and perfect that mere mortals cannot compete. All of the vampires are portrayed as having "remarkable good looks," and they have the money and clothes to complete the whole package. Bella longs to be accepted by them, no matter the danger or the cost to her family. In the first movie, Edward even tells Bella, "I'm the world's most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell. As if I would need any of that. As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off. I'm designed to kill."

At multiple points in the book, Bella feels pain and anguish over the absence of Edward. Beyond the warped desire to be with a boy who wants to hurt her, this screams of female lust to me. At the risk of seeming stereotypical, there are different kinds of lust for men and women. Men look at women and desire, and women want to be looked at and desired. There is the sin of lust for both men and women, and the danger of destruction in both the desiring and the being desired.

Edward is set up in the books as a savior for Bella, the person who can deliver her from her normalcy, the mundane aspect of her life. I don't want my daughter to think it's okay to be fascinated with a boy to the extent of her own destruction, especially a "bad boy," a dangerous person. An obsession with Edward (or Jacob, for that matter) feeds into the idea that a woman needs danger and fear in a relationship. No! I want my daughter to yearn for a godly, upright man, who loves Jesus more than he loves her. With those priorities in order, she will live a blessed life. God will be her constant, her steadfast companion. "For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you." - Isaiah 54:10

JACOB AND THE WOLVES:

The biggest challenge I have is with the idea of "imprinting." Jacob and his wolf brothers can become imprinted on a person, instantly experiencing love at first sight, and a deep connection to that person as a soul mate. The last thing Elisa needs is to feel like she has no choice in the matter when a boy falls in love with her, or when she falls in love with him. Young love will come and go. True love is a choice, a decision that mature people make every day. Love is work, not hormones or instincts.

DECISION-MAKING:

Every decision Bella makes leads her deeper into danger. We need to realize the consequences of our actions and our choices, and question where our steps are leading us. There is not much in the way of redemption in Twilight, beyond the good "works" and choices made by the Cullen family to help humanity instead of kill people. There is a great deal of struggle over whether the vampires are damned because they have been transformed into vampires. Vampire legends are rooted in the idea that vampires sold their souls to the devil in exchange for eternal life. Twilight vampires do not have the same choice (although Bella seems to choose vampirism even with the chance that her soul could be eternally lost).

I almost wondered at the idea of works salvation - how the Cullens seem to be trying by their actions alone to be "good." Their fate was chosen for them, so they did everything they could to fight their nature and do good works/deeds. Bella even says, "you couldn't be damned" because she sees Edward (his actions) as good. People/vampires/wolves seem to be relying on good works instead of relying and trusting in the goodness of God. The topic or personhood of God is not introduced into Twilight saga at all, beyond the concept of damnation. No vampires, wolves or humans are introduced to God or his offer of eternal life.

WOULD I LET MY DAUGHTER READ TWILIGHT?

Yes, but only with me reading along with her to discuss themes and choices made by the characters. I want my children to know that I'm not able to be shaken by what interests them, and we can talk about anything. I don't want to be the "cool mom" that lets them participate in all aspects of the world. However, I want them to see me seek after God while in the culture, either contributing to it or battling it, and finding true joy by seeing Christ in my fellow man and maybe even in the culture around me. I don't believe that ignoring Twilight or any other aspect of culture is the way to do that. My mom caught flak for my obsession over Michael Jackson in fourth grade, but she knew that withholding and restricting me from all things Michael would only feed my desire and create a stronger devotion. My parents helped me balance my interest in "Thriller" with more wholesome pursuits and helped me develop into a person who could - not always successfully - navigate my teen years IN the world but not OF it.

I would also allow her to watch the movies, with me, and with my finger firmly on the pause button. I do this with most movies. I don't want my children to absorb things without questioning the legitimacy of the worldviews and statements put forth in movies and TV shows.

I am aware that evil comes in many disguises and is made to look alluring and fascinating to appeal to our senses. Like Twilight, like many things in our culture. Many times songs and images have become embedded in my mind and I realize that I need God's divine help to remove them from my soul. I know that Twilight has become just such an obsession for many people. I'm not ready to call Twilight evil, but I am recognizing its dangers and drawbacks. Twilight is deeply in the American culture, and we need to find ways to discuss it and transform its followers into devotees of the true God, grateful recipients of the real sacrificial love of Jesus.

Interesting article for teens and how to talk about Twilight at youthministry.com: http://www.youthministry.com/?q=node/20393

Observations on Marriage After 15 Years

2010-06-25T11:59:00.002-04:00

Many words have been spoken, many books written about marriage and how to make it work.

After 15 years, I'm not saying I have it figured out. In fact, I look forward to many more years trying to figure it out with Tim.

ATTRACTION
We had an attraction from the beginning. Tim was cute and had great legs from playing soccer, and Tim said I caught his eye because I was different from the other freshman girls at Milligan College. Apparently he had never met a girl who knew how to shoot a rifle and thought the East Tennessee mountains were mere speed bumps compared to the "real mountains" out west.

Solid marriage - even a solid dating relationship - isn't based on attraction, though. I could list hundreds of "beautiful" people who started out with attraction and fizzled shortly. In fact, I'm shocked to hear how short some Hollywood marriages are.

IDOLATRY
To rely solely on attraction and chemistry reduces the relationship to a flimsy shadow of love, simple lust. In fact, it makes one's beloved into an idol - the object of our hopes and desires - instead of a partner in life. When I set my beloved up as an idol, the Apostle Paul writes that I have "exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator." (Romans 1:25)

COMMON PURPOSE
Antoine De Saint-Exupery said, "love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." Beyond the attraction (which does cool somewhat over the years, by the way), Tim and I had found similarities and common experiences that helped us understand each other and appreciate each other more. Even deeper than that, we knew we had a shared faith in God and commitment to follow Jesus Christ with our whole lives. As we continued to date, I knew I had found a man who loved God more than he loved me, and I knew that God would bless me through him.

We spent a summer apart in 1994. We had separate internships - mine in North Carolina, his in Indiana. The disconnection from each other was deeper than loneliness, and stronger than absence. We realized that summer that we were better together. I was a more effective person, better at my job - a better woman when he was by my side. He found that he was a better minister, worker and person with me working alongside him. We knew it was time to talk about getting married.

The thrill of a common purpose and a shared passion keeps us together - beyond attraction, beyond the promises we made on June 24, 1995 (and renew in our hearts every time we attend a wedding), and beyond "staying together for the sake of the kids." We are a team in life, in parenthood, and as disciples of Jesus Christ.

When I was a girl, I thought I wanted someone who would be my "everything." I wanted to be "everything" to someone, too. But after 15 years of marriage, one thing I do know is that I am NOT my husband's everything. His heart belongs to Jesus. And that's just the way I want it.

Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart

2010-06-24T08:09:00.000-04:00

Just to know Timothy Paul Hatfield would have blessed my life beyond measure.

But 15 years ago, I married this man and my life has been overwhelmingly blessed with his wisdom, sense of humor, love, and passion for Jesus and His church.

Marriage hasn't always been easy or fun, but it will always be worth the work. Thanks for being my life partner, Timbo. I respect you and the way you care and provide for us more than I can say.

Happy Anniversary, sweetheart.

Locavores and Neighborhood Living

2010-06-15T08:06:00.000-04:00

I recently read Farm City: The Education of an Urban Farmer by Novella Carpenter. While I thoroughly enjoyed following her adventures as a city farmer in Oakland, California, I vacillated between admiration and guilt. Admiration to the point of researching Roanoke's laws about livestock, and guilt to the point of realizing how far my family has fallen from the agrarian sufficiency of our grandparents and, to some degree, our parents. I don't even grow a garden. The idea of weeding my flower beds in the summer heat makes me hyperventilate. Can you imagine what a whole garden would do to me?

That's why I'm pretty grateful that Roanoke has THREE Farmer's Markets available to me now - two are a simple walk or bike ride away, and one is as close as a $1.50 bus ride downtown.

I'm planning on frequenting the West End Community Market, opening in the parking lot of the West End Center for Youth at the corner of Patterson & 13th. That's the neighborhood that's "across the bridge" from us, what Roanoke residents consider a rough part of town. I consider it my neighborhood too - if it's less than a mile from me, if I drive through it every day, it's my neighborhood. My house would fit in right along with the other houses. By an accident of birth, it just happens to be on the other side of the bridge.

So, tomorrow between the hours of 4-7 pm, I'll be riding my bicycle over to the West End Center to sample some local produce. Check out this great article in the Roanoke Times about the Market and how they're even accepting SNAP payments for low-income families. Support your local farmers. Buy locally.

Summer School Adventure

2010-06-01T07:43:00.001-04:00

Now that Elisa is out of school for the summer and achievement certificates have been granted, the summer fun school begins!

Wilkin and I didn't get everything accomplished last school year, and Elisa overachieved, getting straight A's in every subject. As a result, we're going to do some learning this summer. Wilkin will be doing more in the way of math, reading and handwriting. Elisa will be devouring a spelling/vocabulary book and working on her math computation. Who knows, she may even get fifth grade under her belt (haha). We will also be traveling to Washington, DC and learning some history and civics along with that trip.

So - today is the day! Time to learn, to get some knowledge!

Yesterday was a long day but I'm counting my blessings

2010-05-22T06:56:00.001-04:00

1. Appointment with the "Ick" doctor to start my day
Blessing: I'm healthy and am old enough to be scheduled for an annual mammogram. Thankful for a proactive doctor.

2. Had to make a really tough call in small group leadership
Blessing: Strong clarification and reiteration of the purpose of groups at Living Water, and a little bit of correction and discipline from God to me. It's healthy and very helpful, even though it's painful sometimes.

3. Wilkin is invited to his former class's picnic and I make awkward small talk with his teacher and other moms about homeschooling
Blessing: I realize that it's OK that my son isn't reading The Boxcar Children books yet or not taking the "much more difficult" ITBS test rather than the CAT standardized test. Wilkin is progressing just right for him and I'm going to continue to chill out and be proud of him where he is.

4. Wilkin slams into another kid at the class picnic and gets the worst gusher from his nose ever (he's had too many for me to count, but this one was pretty bad)
Blessing: Dr. Mowery was at the picnic with her son (not the poor kid on the other end of the collision, thank the Lord) and knows just what to do - palpated for fractures, he's fine. Retains his sense of humor when he recounts the incident: "We were going in opposite directions, and that was toward each other." Ice cream on the way home helps too.

5. We pick Elisa up from school and her sore throat is pretty definitely strep
Blessing: We get an appointment quickly at the pediatrician and get her first dose in her before dinner - hoping she can still play in soccer game on Saturday.

6. Because of Elisa's infection, I cannot attend worship team practice, as I had promised
Blessing: I get to cuddle with my kids and pretend they are small again. When Elisa feels sick, she wants her mommy. When Wilkin is bleeding, he wants his mommy. I've been reading books about helping my children transition into responsible pre-teens instead of simply obedient children. Thinking of the looming tween and teen future sometimes makes my heart ache. Days like yesterday remind me that I'm still needed - not just for the preparation for their next phase of childhood, but for the current one. I can still provide tender comfort and they can still fit in my lap.

P.S. Wilkin woke up with a crick in his neck. He can only look to the left and it hurts to even try to turn his head forward. Probably either slept on it wrong or really whacked into that kid hard yesterday and gave a jolt to his spine.
Blessing: Our chiropractor is open on Saturdays.

How am I mirroring Jesus to the world?

2010-05-12T08:44:00.001-04:00

Our imitation of God in this life ... must be an imitation of God incarnate: our model is the Jesus, not only of Calvary, but of the workshop, the roads, the crowds, the clamorous demands and surly oppositions, the lack of all peace and privacy, the interruptions. For this, so strangely unlike anything we can attribute to the Divine life in itself, is apparently not only like, but is, the Divine life operating under human conditions.
- C.S. Lewis, from his book The Four Loves

Happy Mother's Day, Grandma!

2010-05-09T07:01:00.001-04:00

By the time you get this email, I will have been through two services at Living Water, singing the special music: "Perfect People" by Natalie Grant. The lyrics go something like this:

There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
and be changed by a perfect God

The sermon is about the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, which sometimes makes me feel guilty about the Mom/Wife/Woman I'm NOT. Sometimes it challenges me to be a better person, but it always makes me grateful that God's grace is sufficient for me.

The sermon also will have a speaking part for one of my best friends, who is going to talk about how she is working to change her family history and be a better mom than her mom was to her. Her mother is an alcoholic, and just a couple of months ago, I went to babysit while she and her husband drove to pick up her mom who was too drunk to drive home. I spent that evening thinking about you, Grandma, and how grateful I am that you raised such a powerful woman of God, my mom. I know you faced adversity in your own home life as a child, and watched imperfect people make a life together and struggle through. You, yourself, took a broken background and changed my family history. You raised a daughter who loves the Lord more than anything in her life and strives to follow him wherever he leads. You raised a daughter who puts her husband second, teaming up with him in ministry and in life. You raised a daughter who raised her children to love Jesus and family, to be adventurous and independent, while still tethered with the bonds of faith and love.

My friend is struggling to reinvent what family means for her, her husband, and her children. She is determined to change her family history and raise her daughters in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I know in the not-so-distant future, her granddaughters may be sending her this same message I am sending you ... a message of gratitude for her faithfulness and determination.

With the help and grace of God, you and Grandpa - two imperfect people from imperfect backgrounds - were the turning point for me and my mom and therefore my own family's history. Because of you and how you raised my mom, I don't have to struggle with so many challenges my friends face with their own parents, spouses, or children. I still fall short of that virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 - that passage will forever convict and inspire me to do better - but I see you and Mom all the way through that passage, and I am encouraged that I can achieve that perfection only because of Christ Jesus.

There's no such thing as perfect people

There's no such thing as a perfect life

So come as you are, broken and scarred

Lift up your heart and be amazed

and be changed by a perfect God

Who lived and who died to give new life

To heal our imperfections

So look up and see love and let grace be enough

Be changed by a perfect God

Be changed.

Happy Mother's Day, Grandma. I love you.

--------------------------------------------

PS: I could have written this just as easily for my Grandma Dorothy Hardenbrook. She faced so many challenges growing up it devastates me just to think about it. What she did to overcome that pain and be the woman of God she was is a real inspiration to me.

This is my second Mother's Day without Grandma Hardenbrook, but my gratitude and love for her are still being conveyed through my prayers for my own family every day.

Elisa's Poem for Isabelle

2010-05-03T11:46:00.003-04:00

We have friends who are battling leukemia with their daughter, Isabelle.

As I was preparing my grocery list for today, I turned a page in my notebook and found an acrostic poem written by my 9-year-old daughter after participating in Isabelle's fundraiser:

ISABELLE SIMMONS

I love you
Saying "I love you" makes me smile
A warm hug makes me stronger
Being sick is no fun
Everybody is beautiful
Loving to the heart
Like a strong laugh
Eyes of warmth and grace

Sick with cancer
Isabelle Simmons
My life is a painful story
My life is a loving story
Outstanding life
Never the same
Save me Lord
-by Elisa Hatfield

Please pray for Isabelle and her parents, Tabitha and Ben. More information on Isabelle and how to pray can be found here.

How Not to Talk to Your Kids

2010-05-03T10:53:00.001-04:00

My friend Josie sent me this amazing article from New York Magazine by Po Bronson, written in 2007.

Josie is traveling along with me on my journey of home teaching my son, Wilkin, and constantly supporting me with wisdom, tools, and encouragement. We all know that Wilkin is smart - sometimes too smart for his own good. But we also know that it's a struggle to help him learn, especially when he doesn't want to.

I'm learning more about him and myself as we travel this journey, and this article was incredibly helpful to me. It takes a while to read, but I hope it will be as beneficial to you as it was to me. Maybe, like me, you are you are your child's primary educator. Maybe you're an engaged parent ... I like to consider myself a co-teacher along with my daughter's fourth grade teacher, even though she is the primary educator of my daughter. Maybe you're a person like my friend Josie, who is invested in your friends' children because you care very deeply. If you fit into any of those categories, you'll benefit from How Not to Talk to Your Kids: the Power (and Peril) of Praise.

I welcome your thoughts.

The Dilemma of Keeping One's Word

2010-04-30T07:06:00.001-04:00

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. - Matthew 9:36 (NLT)

Tomorrow is the 31st Annual Virginia Championship Chili Cook Off in downtown Roanoke.

For the past seven years, Living Water Christian Church has participated in some form.

It all started about eight years ago, when the Hatfield family was at the Cook Off and Paul said to us, "I would love for Living Water to be a part of this some year." Way to think outside of the evangelism box, right? So we started working on it, and became a fixture at the event back in 2003. For the first five years, we cooked gallons of chili to be sampled by the masses. Starting in 2005, we began providing a diaper changing station over in the Kids Fun Area where parents could find a clean changing table, free diapers, hand sanitizer and wipes - just an unexpected service to families who needed it. A few years ago, we introduced helium balloons to the Chili Cook Off. Well, last year, we couldn't find a chili cook able to take off Friday and Saturday from work to be able to cook the sheer volume of chili needed to be prepared for such an event (about 50 gallons). So, we just set up the changing table service and the balloons. Still, a great way to reach out to the community and show that we care about families (and that we're kind of fun to hang out with too).

I have come to believe very strongly in our participation in this event: we can trace three families in our church directly from the Chili Cook Off. For the cost of the helium, balloons, T-shirts, giveaways, chili ingredients and man hours all those years, we have gained three families that we can't imagine doing life without at Living Water. Three families who now know the love and grace of Jesus and are imparting that to their families, friends, co-workers and neighbors.

This weekend is a busy one for Living Water. About 10 guys are attending the Men's Retreat at Blue Ridge Christian Camp and one of my most dedicated set-up people is the point man for the retreat. A bridal shower is being held tomorrow for one of my most dedicated balloon girls. Her fiance's family has always been a big part of helping with the diaper changing station.

My daughter has two soccer games tomorrow, which I am going to miss because we aren't appropriately staffed for the event. I'm faced with a huge dilemma. Do I keep my word to Greenvale School, the organizers and beneficiaries of the Cook Off and be at the event with the two or three volunteers I can wrangle, or do I cancel the helium tank and go to my daughter's soccer games?

It's a dilemma further deepened by the knowledge that thousands of people will see our balloons, be blessed by the service to their families, and maybe consider church or Jesus for the first time. Is God telling me he is not directing us toward this event this year, or is he wanting me to overcome the challenges that have been put in my path? What should I do, friends? What should I do?

2010-04-21T12:00:00.003-04:00

Today I Will Fly! by Mo Willems

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This series is finally inspiring my 7-year-old to read eagerly. The clever illustrations and witty dialogue, coupled with "I Can Read It" prose, has made the "Elephant and Piggie" series a significant game-changer for us.

View all my reviews >>

Battle of Wills with Wil

2010-04-21T09:25:00.000-04:00

He's up in his room. And I'm down here. Waiting on him to be ready to complete his assignment. He didn't do it perfectly, and he started to cry. Who knew I had ANOTHER perfectionist kid on my hands? Actually, I don't. He just likes to do things well, and when he doesn't, he expresses his frustration. At the second outburst of tears, I sent him to his bed with the instruction to come down when he was ready to finish.

It's been a few minutes and the tears are done. My guess? He's totally forgotten about the whole rumpus and he's looking at a book. Time to call him back to the table.

I've been working through On Becoming Preteen Wise: Parenting Your Child from 8-12 Years by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam. Although Wilkin is still seven, I am beginning to see many of our challenges and disputes through a much different lens. As we transition into the "tweens," he will be accepting a lot more responsibility for his own actions and behaviors as I prepare him for responsibility, not just obedience.

I'm off to retrieve the boy and complete our assignment. Homeschooling is not for the faint of heart, but it is a terrific way to learn more about my son ... and myself.

Stanley

2010-04-18T17:23:00.003-04:00

My seven-year-old son Wilkin has an imaginary friend named Stanley.
It all started with his cousin, who had an imaginary friend named Stanley. His cousin's Stanley was a playmate when he needed one, as his sister is 11 years older and not always keen on playing Hotwheels. Wilkin adopted his own Stanley shortly after being introduced to Josiah's Stanley, even though Elisa has always been a close friend and they play well together. I figured Stanley was harmless, just another expression of Wilkin's desire to be just like Josiah.
However, Wilkin's Stanley has hung on over the years, and evolved over time.
Stanley began as a silent confidant and understanding friend who always shared toys and let Wilkin go first.

As Wilkin has matured and faced various challenges in schooling and in relationships, Stanley has become the friend that always lets Wilkin have his way. When Wilkin was struggling with confidence, Stanley would forget how to play games and Wilkin would always win. When Wilkin tried to sound out words, Stanley didn't even know what the letters were. When Wilkin felt he couldn't do anything right, Stanley always let him take his own turns and Wilkin would always come out on top.
Yesterday, Elisa and Wilkin were playing Connect Four. Wilkin was losing.
Wilkin challenged Stanley to a game of Connect Four. Stanley forgot the rules. Wilkin won.
Today, Elisa kicked Wilkin's tail in "thumb war."
Wilkin challenged Stanley to a thumb war. Wilkin won. "Stanley is so weak, and I am so strong," Wilkin crowed (yes, he was using his own thumb to represent Stanley's thumb).
I long for the day when Wilkin feels confident enough to challenge and, maybe even, defeat someone his own age. Until then, there's Stanley. And I'm grateful for the way he keeps letting Wilkin win ... and keeps building up his budding confidence.

Reading Breakthrough?

2010-04-16T20:38:00.000-04:00

I have been trying to find a series of stories that would spark Wilkin's interest in reading.

The Magic School Bus
Richard Scarry
Dr. Seuss
Thomas the Tank Engine

Well, he loved all of those books, but not enough to read on his own.

Wilkin adores the Pigeon books by Mo Willems, but the writing style is more a "Read It To Me" than an "I Can Read It," if you know what I mean. Leonardo the Terrible Monster was a huge hit at our house, but again, more of a bedtime storybook than his style of reading.

Today at the library, while Wilkin was on a learning computer, I again was in search of something to spark his interest. I just know that once he "gets it," he will take off. I found the Elephant and Piggie books by Mo Willems, and I knew Wilkin would like them for three reasons:

easy words he already knows structured in easy-to-read sentences to build confidence;
hilarious but kid-friendly story lines; and
very cute and funny illustrations.

I checked out all 5 books they had available: Pigs Make Me Sneeze, I Love My New Toy!, Are You Ready to Play Outside?, Today I Will Fly!, and I Am Invited to a Party!

Wilkin started off wanting them read TO him. Instead of arguing and saying, "you can read this yourself," I allowed Elisa to read them to him first on the way home from the library. By the time we were almost home, Wilkin had read one book all by himself, giggling the whole way. He earns two stickers in Inventor School for reading one book. Today, he earned 10 stickers just for reading.

Could this be the reading breakthrough I've been praying for? We'll see! Stay tuned...

Today my daughter's best friend buries her great-grandmother

2010-04-14T06:08:00.000-04:00

In January 2009, I traveled to Idaho for the funeral of my Grandma Hardenbrook. It was a painful but joyous time as I and my family members looked back at her life, cried a lot, and laughed even more. Tim and the kids were unable to come with me, and I missed their presence and the lost opportunity to be present for the memories and the finality of the burial. I especially wished my children could have participated in that. For long-distance family relationships, my kids may go months or even a year without seeing grandparents and great-grandparents. Elisa and Wilkin grieved when she died and know they will see her again in heaven, but there is a benefit in participating in the funeral. When my mom's dad then passed away in June, I again traveled without my husband and kids. I wondered what Elisa and Wilkin were missing by not being able to participate.

On Sunday, Elisa's best friend had rushed with her family to be at the side of her great-grandmother as she took her last breaths. When I shared this with Elisa, a tender-hearted nine-year-old, tears sprang to her eyes in compassion and sorrow for her friend. She also knew Mildred - she had been at Taylor's house a few times when Elisa visited - but Elisa's tears were for Taylor. When I offered her the chance to travel to the funeral with me, she quickly nodded her head, unable to speak.

I know the emotions are still fresh for me, just 15 months after Grandma Hardenbrook's funeral, but I feel like this might be a very meaningful experience for my daughter as well. As she is physically present for Taylor today, she can also experience the finality of this funeral and grieve for her own beloved great-grandma and great-grandpa.

I will feel the emotions afresh, too. Having experienced loss oneself makes one better equipped to help those who are going through it. My friend Marcia very wisely stated yesterday, "There's nothing like losing a parent. All of a sudden, you're an orphan." She had that shared experience with Gracie - Mildred's daughter and Taylor's grandmother - that I (thankfully) do not have. Today, I will be in Clintwood, Virginia to honor Mildred for my friends Gracie and Tony and Rhyanna and Brian, and Elisa will honor her best friend's great-grandmother.

Breakthrough in the Little Dude's Brain

2010-03-24T17:06:00.001-04:00

I was a firstborn child. When my brother was born, Mom said we were total opposites. Then when my other brother was born, Mom said he was completely opposite from the both of us. We are given personalities and genetic tendencies from the very beginning of our lives.

I have always known that Elisa and Wilkin were totally different. They're female and male, yes, but different in ways that transcend chromosomes and Princesses v. Dinosaurs.

Elisa "gets it" right away. Whether it's auditory, visual, tactile, she gets it. She reads a spelling list and can take the test a week later without reviewing the words. She reads a book and discusses intricate plot points months after the book is back on the shelf.

Wilkin "gets it" best when he comes up with the conclusion, fact or solution on his own. His dad is the same way (makes couple discussion time lots of fun), but not to this extreme. Simply asking Wilkin to sit down and look at a worksheet results in a brick wall slamming up in front of his face, tears springing to his eyes, and arms folding across his chest.

In school, Wilkin's greatest struggle was for automaticity and speed in writing the responses for math and English on his worksheets. Many days Wil would take hours to complete a worksheet for many reasons - inability to concentrate, the tendency toward distraction (he is seven, after all), but the main reason was his that he would not listen to instruction. He was told many times by his teacher - and as well, by his parents - that the speediest way to copy his spelling words was to look at the entire word and write it without looking back at the word. If he couldn't remember the word, then he needed to keep a finger on the word so he could easily refer back to the original word. Although it would have saved him so much time and frustration, Wilkin would not listen, would not do what we suggested.

Yesterday, Wilkin was copying words in his endeavor to learn "long vowel" sounds. He had completed a word search, then began to write the words on the lines provided. As before, he wrote the words letter by letter: F (then back up to see the next letter) - E (write the letter, then look back up at the word to find the next letter) - A (write the letter, look back up to find the next letter in the word) - S (write the letter, then search for the next letter in the word) - T. The next word proved to be just as painstaking, until Wilkin said to me, "Hey mom, what if I looked at the word while I wrote down below, then I wouldn't have to look back and forth?"

"Well, buddy, that's a good idea, except that you can't see what you are writing down below, so you can't tell if you're writing neatly or not."

Wilkin thought about that. "Hmmm. You're right. What about if I look at the word, read it, and remember the letters, then write it down below?"

Breakthrough.

"Yeah, dude, I think that might work. You're a smart one. You can remember all the letters and write it down - I know you can."

With each successive word, Wilkin became more and more excited that he was completing the task so quickly. "Hey, Mom! If I had done this in school, I could have done a worksheet with everybody else and would never have had to put it under my desk to do later! I wouldn't have had to miss playtime to do my work!"

*Sigh*

That's why I'm homeschooling my son. He may not listen to what I think is reason at the time, but if I am patient with him, he will find his way and be a confident learner. I can't forge the path for him, he must tread it on his own. Forcing him to process his learning the way I process learning is ineffective at best, abusive at worst. I'm going to be as patient with my boy as I can, and be his guide along the way to knowledge. His way ... on his timetable.

Grace and Love in the Chronicles of Narnia � Escape to Reality

2010-03-19T07:56:00.000-04:00

Eye-opening post on being God's beloved ...

Remember the scene in The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis where Emeth is accepted by Aslan, although he has been a Tash-worshiper?

Check out these great insights: Grace and Love in the Chronicles of Narnia in the blog Escape to Reality

I went running today

2010-03-15T07:15:00.000-04:00

I've started a little adventure called "Couch to 5K." For the uninitiated, it means those lazy people who don't move at all except from couch to car and back again can get in shape through a period of alternating running and walking, 30 minutes 3 days a week, gradually working up to a 5K run in 9 weeks.

I'm not saying it will be easy, but there are a lot of tools that make it easier. I used a Christian indie music podcast for my running this morning and found an incredible song that I wanted to share. After the Chase is a husband-and-wife worship leading, music writing team in California. My goal in this Couch to 5K endeavor is not to be skinny, not to look better, but to be disciplined in the way I use my body. My appearance should be a declaration of devotion to God, not chips and candy bars. Here's a link to the song (click on "Run") - hope it blesses you the way it did me.

http://virb.com/atc

More info on After the Chase and Couch to 5K (including links to running guide podcasts):

http://www.facebook.com/afterthechase

Couch to 5K on Facebook

Tampa Area - Couch to 4K Club on Facebook

The Jesus Storybook Bible

2010-03-13T08:32:00.000-05:00

Someday I'm going to write a blog post JUST about this amazing book. Until then, check out this great review and giveaway!

Jesus is Coming (Look Busy)

2010-03-13T07:00:00.001-05:00

Driving through downtown Roanoke yesterday, I saw a bumper sticker I'd never seen before: Jesus is coming (look busy).

I couldn't help but laugh at the misinformation perpetuated by such a message, and then be immediately convicted of my own busyness.

I am too often wrapped up in activities for Jesus instead of abiding in Jesus. Church work can really get to be a busy work. Especially as the church grows (this is a good thing), the busyness increases (this is a bad thing). If I am not careful and intentional about my life, I end up acting like Martha in the kitchen, grumbling that I never get to spend time with Jesus. But oh, the work I'm accomplishing FOR him!

Living Water Christian Church is all about creating "reproducing" disciples as part of our discipleship process - meaning we connect people to God, help them grow and serve, then duplicate themselves in the lives of other people. That means one doesn't just keep piling more and more activities and work on oneself - one creates apprentices and other workers, then goes out to create more disciples.

It's a very biblical, thoughtful, intentional concept - one that I am finally starting to understand. In the hands of Jesus, I help him create reproducing disciples (disciples make more disciples; small groups make more small groups; churches make more churches).

But left to my own devices, I putter about, doing, doing, doing... and feeling right proud of myself. This puttering feeds the heresy that we can do anything on our own accord to earn salvation or the grace of Jesus. How many jokes have you heard about the priest, the rabbi and the so-and-so who meet St. Peter at the pearly gates and plead their case to get into heaven? One of Satan's most successful lies is that humankind can earn salvation.

Jesus IS COMING again ... but busyness and toil will not save us. Jesus already did all the work necessary for our salvation when he died on the cross. I Timothy 1:9 tells us "For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus." (NLT) God saved us not because we deserved it - not because we were busy - but because that was his plan; to show us grace.

Grace trumps busyness.

Grace covers the weary and heavy laden, too worn to be busy. Jesus's yoke is light, not heavy. He gives us rest, not work. As Eugene Peterson's Message translation of Matthew 11:29-30 puts it: "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Jesus IS coming ... but the only thing I need to do about it is accept him, obey him, and begin to live in him. He did it all for me. If I were the only person on earth, Jesus still would have died to save me. My life in Jesus should only be a visceral, grateful response to his grace and mercy. All else is busywork, not holy, and it definitely does not save me.

Living Water is CELEBRATING this Sunday!

2010-03-12T20:59:00.000-05:00

On March 14 at 9:30 and 11:00, we're celebrating what God has done through us at Living Water and in our hearts and lives!

We'll show this video, hear inspiring stories of life change, and (of course) eat together after second service.

It's going to be an exciting Sunday!

So Salem: Community news from Salem - For the Love of Isabelle

2010-03-12T12:45:00.002-05:00

Great article on Roanoke.com Salem blog - featuring Isabelle Simmons and work done by the amazing Tabitha Concepcion and other friends from area churches. I'm incredibly proud to have just a tiny part of this beautiful event.

So Salem: Community news from Salem - Roanoke.com: For the Love of Isabelle: Dinner, Auction and Entertainment March 13

Isabelle Simmons, 2, was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia on Nov. 8. While her parents, Ben and Tabitha Simmons, were "still spinning from the diagnosis," friends and family jumped in and started organizing a fundraiser.
Family members estimate that the Simmonses’ out-of-pocket expenses could exceed $200,000. This estimate includes chemotherapy treatments that Isabelle will undergo for 2½ years. The exact cost will depend on the number of times Isabelle is hospitalized and has transfusions, as well as if bone marrow transplants are necessary.

A spaghetti dinner, organized by family friend Tabitha Concepcion, is being held in order to help the Simmons family with medical expenses. Entertainment will include a bluegrass band and Christian musician Tony Vines. Items contributed for the silent auction by local businesses include a Deep Creek Lake House Vacation for 14, Coach bags and a Thunder Valley package. Various themed baskets have been donated by local churches whose members are also pitching in to help cook dinner.
"I attend the Living Water Christian church in Salem," says Isabelle’s uncle, Don Charles of Salem. "They have been such a blessing to my life, and as soon as they heard about my niece, they immediately offered their help. They have offered to let people send their donations for Isabelle to the church in order to have a tax deduction. Members of the congregation are also on the committee that is planning Isabelle’s fundraiser. We’re thankful for Living Water and the other congregations in the valley who have reached out with ‘concrete acts of love’ in support our family during a difficult time."
"The thing that I am looking forward to the most is not the money, but getting to see so many people who are there to love and support Isabelle," says her mom. "Our hope and prayer is that her story can be an encouragement to other families going through similar situations."
What: For the Love of Isabelle: Dinner, auction and entertainment
When: Saturday, March 13, 5 p.m.
Where: Roanoke Moose Lodge, 3233 Catawba Valley Drive
How much: $8 adults/$4 children
For information, contact Tabitha Concepcion 986-6718
Submitted by Laura Wade, special to SoSalem.

A God-Shaped Life

2010-03-11T06:00:00.000-05:00

"A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree."

- Proverbs 11:28 (the Message)

"Trust in your money and down you go! But the godly flourish like leaves in spring."

- Proverbs 11:28 (NLT)

"Trust in your wealth, and you will be a failure, but God's people will prosper like healthy plants."- Proverbs 11:28 (CEV)

"Those who trust in their riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf."

- Proverbs 11:28 (TNIV)

We had such a great discussion in Financial Peace University last night. In Proverbs 22:7, it says that the borrower is slave to the lender.

In Luke 16:13, it says we cannot serve both God and money.

If I'm in debt to anyone but God, I'm torn between two masters. Clinging to one, despising the other.

Who am I clinging to?

I'm so excited about the debt Tim and I have already paid off, and the snowball effect in place for the rest of it.

On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand (especially consumer debt).

Inviting outsiders, not coddling insiders

2010-03-10T08:24:00.000-05:00

Living Water Christian Church is preparing for Easter, which falls on April 4 this year.

More than preparing with invite cards, sermons on evangelism and encouragements to pray for and invite our friends to Easter, I'm working to prepare my heart.

Many people have preconceptions of Easter Sunday services ... the choir cantatas, the rousing resurrection sermons, the "up from the grave he arose!"

This Sunday, we're challenging people to turn to Jesus, the one who can help them become the best version of themselves! We're kicking off a sermon series called "The Me I Want To Be" and inviting our friends, neighbors, co-workers, family members to encounter the person who can create their own best version of "me."

I'm challenging myself to show the unchurched people around me who Jesus really is. Maybe that's babysitting, lending a hand out to their car at the grocery store, paying for their meal at Burger King, dropping off a bag of groceries with an anonymous "I love you" from Jesus.

We're not inviting people who already know Jesus. We can't. They already know the way, the truth and the life. Jesus isn't calling the righteous, but the sinners ... the "sin-sick, not the spiritually-fit." (Mark 2:17 - the Message)

The Message interpretation of the Bible is sometimes harsh, but hits me directly where I need to hear it: in the ninth chapter of the book of Matthew 9, Jesus is hanging out with Matthew, the sinning tax collector who is also the author of this account of Jesus' life. Jesus is eating and enjoying the company of people who are less than reputable in society, especially religious society, and they (the religious ones, the holier-than-thou, the showoffs) take him to task for it.

... Jesus, overhearing, shot back, "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means: 'I'm after mercy, not religion.' I'm here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders."

- Matthew 9:12-13 (the Message)

Am I an insider wanting to be coddled? Am I one of the holier-than-thou, look-down-my-nose-at-the-dirty-people, self-righteous believers?

OR am I inviting outsiders to hear and be transformed by the amazing, life-renewing, blast-the-doors-off-death, true-life story of Jesus?

Are you?

Math Worksheets - the bane of my existence

2010-03-08T08:33:00.001-05:00

I love my octagon.
I love my octagon.
I love my octagon.
Say it until you feel it.

The little dude is bright. He could do math equations in his head, craft fact families out of legos, toys, boxes, etc. until the cows come home. But will he WILLINGLY do a math worksheet? Absolutely not.

All I ask is one a day, so he can practice actually writing the numbers.
Right now he's up in his room for 5 minutes because he put up a fight on today's worksheet. He zipped through the most recent math "tricks" in Two Plus Two Is Not Five by Susan R. Greenwald, but self-determined he was not prepared for the test (I use one of the review sheets at the end of each tier). So, we're doing one review sheet each day this week to get ready for the test.

Reasoning with him doesn't work. Wheedling and cajoling SURE doesn't work. Forcing him to sit at the table until it's done doesn't work (I've got a life too; he's along for the ride. He knows this and will hold out until it's time to leave the house. Problem solved). So, he's in his room for 5 minutes or until he's ready to buckle down and get to work. My guess? 5 minutes will come sooner.

Everything I hear says he needs to be writing his math answers out to be at the right level for first grade. His tutor and my mother-in-law, my go-to-gal for first grade standards and development, and the esteemed math professor at Lander, my go-to gal for out-of-the-box math thinking, both say "the boy needs to be writing down his math."
I don't know if it's a reaction to being forced to write out answers in a timed environment in the traditional school setting, or just a natural aversion to the way his brain works.
He loves math. Am I making him hate it by forcing him to do math worksheets?
Oh wait ... I hear footsteps on the stairs. With a hug from mom and an "I believe in you," my little octagon is ready to work.

Octagon-style learning about the Circulatory System

2010-03-06T09:30:00.000-05:00

So Wilkin has been confused about veins/muscles/nerves for a while now. Fascinated with bionics and nerves and muscles, but calling all of them veins.

My good friend Josie Ryan came for a short visit on her way through to Washington, D.C. and decided Wilkin needed to know the difference between veins/muscles/nerves.

At the library, she found lots of books on how the body functions. He went home with Your Body by Stephanie Turnbull: Amazon listing of Your Body and A Drop of Blood by Paul Showers: Amazon listing of A Drop of Blood.

He read and re-read the information on the circulatory system, especially when he learned that he was born with a small VSD - ventricular septal defect - and that Josie was born with a hole in her heart as well. Wilkin's VSD was so small that, at his last pediatric cardiologist visit, they said we didn't need to come back for three years. By that time, they thought that the VSD could be completely closed.

We have read and re-read these books, as well as checking out videos on the Britannica website. Yesterday, I had an appointment scheduled to give blood at the Red Cross. Since we had been reading about the circulatory system, we took A Drop of Blood along with us. Our phlebotomist, Fran, was very patient with us, answering all of Wilkin's questions and even letting him touch the warm bag of blood after the donation was over. I learned a lot about anti-coagulants and the process of storage and identification of blood, too.

Just by searching around, we found a classroom lecture and echocardiogram on Youtube. On Wednesday, March 10, Wilkin has his three-year check up with the pediatric cardiologist, where he will have his very own echocardiogram.

Thanks to Josie, who picked up on some misinformation Wilkin had - and knowing he was bright enough to be able to learn more - and amazing timing with a blood donation and echocardiogram - Wilkin now is very knowledgeable about the heart, blood, oxygenation, arteries and veins. Now THAT'S some great octagon-style learning.

Let's Grow Old Together

2010-02-18T14:06:00.001-05:00

Right now, it seems like a lot of my Facebook friends are taking a "fast" from Facebook. However, I have found Facebook to be a way to keep in contact with a great extended family and support system. Granted, it's not as good as seeing people face to face, but I am grateful to have all of them to encourage and support me through my daily trials and celebrations. Glad we are growing old together ... check out this great blog post from Brian Jones:

Brian Jones - The Official Website Blog Grow Old Together

As I have thought more about this blog post and how it affects my online friendships, I feel a huge sense of guilt over a couple of friends I let fall through the cracks. Granted, with 549 friends, I can't keep up with everyone.

For some of them, I'm merely a window-peeper - checking in every once in a while or "liking" a status update or photo. But for others, I'm more of a commenter or a supporter. If I see things seem "off" in their pages or if they've dropped off the face of the virtual earth, I have a responsibility to follow up with them. I'm thinking specifically of two friends who - seemingly abruptly - left their husbands and families for other men. If I had been a little more proactive ("hey, what's up? I don't see you on here anymore"...), could it have helped?

There are varying levels of "friendship" on Facebook, I know. But if I have begun a relationships - or extended a real relationship into the virtual world - I have a responsibility to that friend. To you. And I'm not going to take that lightly anymore.

"Why My Wife Can't Cook" Audio Essay by Scott Cundiff

2010-02-10T07:00:00.003-05:00

Whether you're on the giving or the receiving end of a blessing, you will appreciate these thoughts by Scott Cundiff on WVTF Public Radio.

Scott and Amy used to live two doors down from us in Raleigh Court in Roanoke. While we didn't get to know them well then, his love and care for his wife speaks volumes to me now, as the one in my household who nourishes the bodies of those I love the most.

"The tools of the kitchen should be regarded with the same sacred honor as those of the altar in any church."

- St. Benedict

Listen here.

2010-02-10T06:38:00.002-05:00

I feel like my whole life and schedule have been turned on their end all month. Between school delays and cancellations, snow, sleet, ice, wind, and the stomach flu, I have not been at all disciplined or consistent. I know this is not an excuse:

"The road to life is a disciplined life; ignore correction and you're lost for good."
- Proverbs 10:17 (the Message)

"People who accept discipline are on the pathway to life, but those who ignore correction will go astray."

- Proverbs 10:17 (NLT)

No more excuses.

Keep Moving Forward

2010-01-29T14:40:00.004-05:00

"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

- Walt Disney

Many times the past few weeks, I've been frustrated, confused, upset, and unsure.

To see my son struggle with first grade has broken my heart. I know that Wilkin is a smart boy. He loves to build, create, draw and craft inventions. His mind is always at work, but not always on the task his teacher had for him. He was labeled with ADHD and told he was easily distracted. We arranged for Wil to be evaluated for learning issues. He tested low on a variety of things, primarily because he lacked basic confidence to complete tasks and "show off" what he knows. While his scores were low, he did not show any indications of dyslexia, hyperactivity, or attention deficit disorder. His evaluation confirmed what we had started to believe - that our son needed a new path.

When talking to Wilkin, I described him as an octagon, and the class as a square. Nothing wrong with being a square. Nothing wrong with being an octagon. They're just not good fits for each other. He kept trying to jam himself into the square, and, as he said, "my edges kept getting banged up." He said he even tried to shrink himself to the size of the square, but doing that made him feel bad about himself.

Yesterday, I formally withdrew him from school and started to homeschool him, with the help of my wonderful and gifted mother-in-law, Judy. She holds a masters in education, with a specialty in learning disabilities. She will tutor him and guide me as I teach him. He will have times each day of concentrated teaching, and he will have the rest of the day to build, create, draw, dream and craft inventions.

We're starting with the absolute basics. Today we finger-painted letters and made a train out of them. One thing that broke my heart was how he repeatedly said:

"This is hard"

"I don't know how to do this."

"I'm not good at this."

Every time he said something bad about himself, I made him "fix" the statement and say it to me seven times.

"This isn't hard if I keep trying."

"I can do this."

"I'm good at this."

We then read "The Little Engine That Could." Wilkin said he used to feel like the tired engine that couldn't pull the train, but now he feels like the little blue engine - small and slow at first, but going faster and faster as he says "I think I can, I think I can."

We used boxes and toys to add, subtract and multiply.

We watched "Meet the Robinsons" while we ate lunch. If you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it. It will inspire you to "keep moving forward" in whatever struggle you may be facing, and even celebrate your failures as just a step on the path toward greatness.

Yeah, it wasn't a big first day of homeschool. It wasn't even challenging. But, while we wait for curriculum, I'm going to lay the foundation for confidence. The work we're doing is intentionally easy. We'll build on what he knows as he grows in knowledge and confidence. Wilkin will get through this hard time. He will thrive. He may return to a traditional school situation, but he may not. Whatever we do, we will keep moving forward and encourage him to be himself - the perfect little octagon God has made him to be.

2010-01-24T06:48:00.002-05:00

"I'll run the course you lay out for me if you'll just show me how. God, teach me lessons for living so I can stay the course. ive me insight so I can do what you tell me—my whole life one long, obedient response."

- Psalm 119:32-34 (the Message)

"I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free. Teach me, O LORD, to follow your decrees; then I will keep them to the end. Give me understanding, and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart."
- Psalm 119:32-34 (NIV)

"I will pursue your commands, for you expand my understanding. Teach me your decrees, O Lord; I will keep them to the end. Give me understanding and I will obey your instructions; I will put them into practice with all my heart."
- Psalm 119:32-34 (NLT)

"I shall run the way of Your commandments, For You will enlarge my heart. Teach me, O LORD, the way of Your statutes, And I shall observe it to the end. Give me understanding, that I may observe Your law And keep it with all my heart."
- Psalm 119:32-34 (NASB)

So, here comes the commentary by Jamie:
I LOVE how different translations interpret verse 32.

"If you'll just show me how"
"You have set my heart free"
"You expand my understanding"
"You will enlarge my heart"

All of those phrases speak to me in the way I am developed by Him when I just stay running on the course he has for me. I don't have to understand it all - just keep running, and my heart is set free to understand and grow.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:1-3 (TNIV)

2010-01-13T05:28:00.001-05:00

I'm falling to my knees to think of all He did for me ...

It's Complicated ... A Review

2010-01-03T11:14:00.003-05:00

"Remember the Scripture that says, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him do it legally, giving her divorce papers and her legal rights'? Too many of you are using that as a cover for selfishness and whim, pretending to be righteous just because you are 'legal.' Please, no more pretending. If you divorce your wife, you're responsible for making her an adulteress (unless she has already made herself that by sexual promiscuity). And if you marry such a divorced adulteress, you're automatically an adulterer yourself. You can't use legal cover to mask a moral failure." - Matthew 5:31-32 (the Message)

There is a danger when people in "church work" recommend movies or advise people not to go to movies. There is even a danger when people in "church work" go to movies - even the purchase of a ticket can be seen as a tacit stamp of approval on the language/violence/sex that is (undoubtedly) present in the film.

So, I purchased a ticket to see "It's Complicated" and saw it with a friend. I laughed at the funny parts and cringed at the horrible parts - and there were plenty of both (and many of the horrible parts were meant to be funny, I'm sure).

The basic story: Jane (Meryl Streep) and Jake (Alec Baldwin) were married for 20 years, have 3 grown children, and have been divorced for 10 years. Jake is remarried to a younger woman (Lake Bell) and trying to have a child with her. Jane and Jake have become friendly again, after an acrimonious time when they didn't even want to be under the same roof.

At their son's graduation in New York, they reconnect and begin an affair. Jane finds herself being the "other woman" in Jake's second marriage. Jake sees no problem with this at all - he is thrilled with the new arrangement. Sex from both women, and Jane is even willing to fix him his favorite foods. He doesn't seem to be at all concerned for the well-being of his current wife, and seems to have learned nothing from the damage cause by his divorce.

Jane is morally confused. She knows she is having an affair, and knows this is wrong, even though she was married to him first. She seeks advice from her group of girlfriends, and they encourage her to continue. She seeks advice from her therapist, and he encourages her to continue. None of her circle of friends or advisers seems to have a moral compass - a sense of right and wrong. The look on the second wife's face when she realizes the truth confirms what the audience has known all along - that sex outside of marriage is a sin, and causes irreparable damage not only to the people committing the sin, but everyone in their family and circle of friends.

To be fair, "It's Complicated" did not glorify adultery. In fact, the movie detailed how damaging it had been to the former spouses as well as the children. Even Jane's architect, Adam (Steve Martin), has been divorced for 2 1/2 years and is still struggling and damaged emotionally. Jane and Jake's children are out of the house, 10 years post-divorce, and still bear the bruises wrought by the break-up of their parents' marriage. The revelation of the affair sends them running from the home and into a child-like cuddle session under blankets in the oldest daughter's house.

By this point in the movie, we realize why Jane stopped trying in her marriage. Jake is a jerk who is only concerned with himself. But Jane doesn't give herself a pass. She knows she was at fault too in their marriage. She stopped trying - and we all know that marriage is work - and as a result, Jake sought companionship outside of the marriage. So, he's a jerk. But she didn't fight for her marriage and help them "grow into the people they each wanted the other to be." She gave up, and she very maturely accepts blame.

Marriages are made up of two imperfect people, but together they can be so much more than that. Marriages are supposed to be about spouses sticking together and make each other better people as a result of the hard times, the good times, the self-sacrificing times and the selfish times. If Jake and Jane had stuck it out, this would have been a much different film. At one point, when they were dancing and having a great time together, I turned to my friend and said "this will be me and Tim in 20 years, except without the divorced part." I KNOW we will be happy and in love even more than we are today, because we are fighting for our marriage and we will never let go. It's not simple for us, indeed, it is "Complicated," but it's best for us, our future, and our children's future well-being.

Do I recommend "It's Complicated"? No. I don't. Besides the moral ambiguity about sex, there is drug use and language. I'm not sorry I saw it, because it made me appreciate my husband and our marriage and want to work harder. But I wouldn't put it on your Netflix queue...

Fears and Faith

2009-08-01T08:17:00.003-04:00

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." - Romans 8:15

Do not fear, O Jacob my servant;
do not be dismayed, O Israel.
I will surely save you out of a distant place,your descendants from the land of their exile.
Jacob will again have peace and security,
and no one will make him afraid. - Jeremiah 46:27

Since my children were born, I have endeavored to keep them fearless. When I hear a story about an abduction on TV, I do not keep my children indoors. I do not even instruct them about "stranger danger." When a virus fear spreads through the country, I do not put little masks on their faces. When airplanes were hijacked, I continued to strap them into the seats and fly across the country.

Airbag malfunction fear? "Load up, kids."
Fierce dog fear? "Ask the owner if you may pet the dog, then go for it."
Homeless people outside the city library when we're heading in? "Say hi, be friendly."
Strangers walking along the alley where my kids play on the playground? "Have fun, kids. I'll leave the door open so I can hear if you need me."

I never ever wanted my kids to live in fear, but in faith that God - even if their parents weren't nearby - had his eye on them. Bad things were going to happen. People would do bad things. They may get hurt. But God is good.

A quick check through the Bible shows 84 times where God or one of his messengers specifically commands a person to "not be afraid" or "fear not" or "be not afraid." In contrast, I found only 13 times when people declared their fearlessness because of God's provision.

We are weak, trembling, spineless creatures. But I didn't want my children to start off that way. I wanted them to live in joy and love with abandon. Elisa has never been afraid of the dark. We taught her to sleep in a dark room from the beginning, and she prefers it. She reads adventure books, climbs trees, plays in creeks, sings and dances like no one's watching. Wilkin is wide open, and runs full-bore into life (and walls). I cannot count how many bloody noses I have doctored. He does not fear pain, bugs, the stage (as long as it's his idea to do the performance), or hard work, especially if someone is showing him how to fix or destroy something.
As they have matured into school-aged children, their fears have grown to include bullies and the critical eyes of their peers. Elisa had a hard time attending school when her face was swollen from poison ivy. Wilkin has refused to wear a perfectly handsome garment because a classmate said it was a "baby shirt."

Everything changed yesterday.

We have heard reports of copperhead snakes around the church building - a rural setting with a creek, playground and wooded acres. In fact, two friends killed a copperhead earlier this summer. Tim's aunt just took her second dog to the veterinarian for to be treated for a poisonous snakebite. That's two dogs in a little under two weeks.

As I work at Living Water during the days, I have been encouraging my children to eschew the DVD player and head outside to play in the creek, catch crawdads and look at salamanders. When I think "idyllic childhood summer," a creek should run through it (not Disney Pixar flicks). I always warn them that if they see a snake, to drop everything (even the paper cups they're using to catch crawdads) and run into the building. I figure there is safety in numbers, however. Wilkin and I were at the church yesterday, and Elisa was at camp. Wilkin requested permission to play in the creek by himself.
Here's the place where I ended my boy's fearlessness, and I mourn for what has been lost.

I told him, "You may play in the creek. But it's different because you're the only child playing in the creek. So, if you see a snake, you MUST drop the cups and run for me. If that snake bites you, I want you to scream as loud as you can and run for me. If you are bitten by a snake, you may not be able to make it back to me. So scream and run. Do you understand?"

My sweet son pushed his fingers up behind his glasses to cover his tears and said, "I'm afraid." And my heart broke. Not because he was crying, but for the loss of his innocence and the fear that I - yes, I - instilled in him.

He did not play in the creek yesterday, but he will next week when his sister is with us. But I know it will never be the same.

Every stage of life is a step farther away from me and more toward independence. Birth is the first "moving out," then there's the first babysitter, going to school, sleepovers, summer camp, college, first apartment, marriage, first home. I want to prepare my children to face each stage fearlessly, not with trepidation. It's a fine line that I'm afraid I crossed yesterday. And I mourn.

Psalm 46
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.

9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields [b] with fire.

10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Holding Hands

2008-08-29T07:40:00.002-04:00

When I was 12, my family moved from Anacortes, Washington to Caldwell, Idaho. My great-grandpa Plueard had recently passed away and my grandma had purchased his homeplace in Caldwell. Grandma and Grandpa Hardenbrook were living there, atop this little hillock in sight of Squaw Butte and Bogus Basin.

My dad is their second-oldest of five children. I am a parent now, and appreciate the value of living close to family. At the time, I was only 12, and more caught up in my own dramas to wonder or care why we were moving to potato-land just as I was starting seventh grade. In fact, I was so caught up in myself that, on a trip downtown with my grandma, I was horrified and mortified that she reached out to take my hand while we crossed the street. I don't remember if I pulled away physically or just mentally. I hoped beyond all hope that none of my friends saw her treat me like such a child. I am sure that Grandma felt my embarrassment.

My parents eventually moved right next to Grandma and Grandpa, and while we were building the house, I got the privilege of living in my grandparents' basement for one summer. At 15 (I think I turned 16 that summer), it was my first taste of independence - I had my own bathroom and I could stay up as late as I wanted and no one bothered me. I was too old to need to hold hands while crossing the street - in fact, they let me borrow their car a few times. I spent a lot of time up at the dining room table, on the couch, and out with the chickens talking with Grandma and Grandpa and learning what a life of boldness would mean for me. That summer, what I had learned from my parents about marriage, adventure and faith was reinforced in conversations with my grandparents. I also was convinced that I was loved, prayed for, and believed in.

In her many years of marriage to my grandpa, Grandma had never lost her boldness, her independence, her sharp wit, or her opinions. She had experienced loneliness and single-parenthood while Grandpa served in Korea, then journeyed with him to many ministry opportunities across the Pacific Northwest and in Canada. Together they reared 5 children around a dinner table where each person was expected to back up their statements and be willing to fight for them. I realized that Grandma was one of the strongest, toughest ladies I would ever meet, and that I wanted to be just like her someday.

Since that time, my grandparents have celebrated their 16 grandchildren and traveled many miles across the US and Canada to participate in graduations, weddings and hold new great-grandchildren. They have also cried with us and prayed for us through our despair, our divorces, and our disappointments. But they never told us they were disappointed in us.

I think my grandpa has retired 3 or 4 times now. He keeps finding his way back to ministry - he considers retirement a "release to service." Grandma has worked in market research for A.C. Nielsen for about 15 or 20 years now, and just celebrated her 80th birthday. This spring, Grandma and Grandpa traveled out to Virginia to see my parents and my family. They didn't care that they were in their eighties ... when the flight arrived after midnight, they rented a car and drove 2 hours down to the house. In the morning, they were ready to go again, driving into DC to see the World War II Memorial and the Korean War Memorial. At the Korean War Memorial, holding my children's hands, I asked Grandma about her experiences in the early 1950s while Grandpa was at war. The next day, Grandpa drove again - to Monticello and back. The day after that, he drove 5 hours down the Parkway to Roanoke to see our house, then drove all the way back up to Edinburg. I kept shaking my head, hoping I will be so adventurous in 45 years.

Almost two weeks ago, Grandma was admitted to the hospital and received a diagnosis of cancer. She and Grandpa promptly quit their jobs and Grandpa said he was going to learn how to do laundry and take care of Grandma. Grandma's family is all across the US and Canada. We don't live next door anymore. We have learned to live lives of boldness and adventure, and that has taken us far away from her and Grandpa.

Over Labor Day in 2006, all 5 of their children gathered for Grandpa's 80th birthday. Most of the grandchildren were able to attend, and we celebrated our family, our common faith, our togetherness and our interdependence. I held Grandma's hand in a prayer circle. It was soft but strong.

I wish I could be next to her right now in the hospital and hold her hand one more time and tell her how much she means to me. We are planning a trip out west for Thanksgiving, and I intend to hold that great woman's hand as much as I possibly can - while I can.

Stay on Target!

2008-07-08T06:14:00.003-04:00

We have a GPS system in Tim's new car. He uses it to find customers and new clients who may need electrical supplies. I also use GPS to find properties for our real estate business.

Tim and I have learned the value of "HOME." Our GPS System, or "Veronica," as we have started to call her, knows exactly where we are and how to get us home. We drive looking for "fisboes" - For Sale By Owner homes which are not be listed in the paper or on the internet. Sometimes we turn down a road, then we turn down another road, which winds around a mountain, then we turn back onto another road. Were it not for Veronica, we could be lost. We click "HOME" on the touch screen, and she gently (yet persistently) guides us back to the main road, or navigates a route we never would have known existed to return us back home.

Veronica serves a navigational purpose which is easily overlooked in my personal life. Sometimes I get so far off target, doing things I think are important (things God should thank me for - just look at all the work I'm doing for him!), that I can't find my way home. God's Word is my "HOME." I'm recentered, refocused, and navigated back to the place I'm supposed to be.

Luke 8:11-21 (NLT)
11 “This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is God’s word. 12 The seeds that fell on the footpath represent those who hear the message, only to have the devil come and take it away from their hearts and prevent them from believing and being saved. 13 The seeds on the rocky soil represent those who hear the message and receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they believe for a while, then they fall away when they face temptation. 14 The seeds that fell among the thorns represent those who hear the message, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares and riches and pleasures of this life. And so they never grow into maturity. 15 And the seeds that fell on the good soil represent honest, good-hearted people who hear God’s word, cling to it, and patiently produce a huge harvest.
16 “No one lights a lamp and then covers it with a bowl or hides it under a bed. A lamp is placed on a stand, where its light can be seen by all who enter the house. 17 For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.
18 “So pay attention to how you hear. To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what they think they understand will be taken away from them.”
19 Then Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him, but they couldn’t get to him because of the crowd. 20 Someone told Jesus, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, and they want to see you.”
21 Jesus replied, “My mother and my brothers are all those who hear God’s word and obey it.”
New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright
© 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust.

What is the chief end of man?

2008-06-30T06:46:00.002-04:00

What is the chief end of man?

“Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.”
– question 1 from the Winchester Shorter Catechism (1647)

Psalm 30 shows our true value to God – as worshippers.

Psalm 30 (New Living Translation)
A psalm of David. A song for the dedication of the Temple.
1 I will exalt you, Lord, for you rescued me. You refused to let my enemies triumph over me.
2 O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you restored my health.
3 You brought me up from the grave, O Lord. You kept me from falling into the pit of death.
4 Sing to the Lord, all you godly ones! Praise his holy name.
5 For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.
6 When I was prosperous, I said, “Nothing can stop me now!”
7 Your favor, O Lord, made me as secure as a mountain. Then you turned away from me, and I was shattered.
8 I cried out to you, O Lord. I begged the Lord for mercy, saying,
9 “What will you gain if I die, if I sink into the grave? Can my dust praise you? Can it tell of your faithfulness?
10 Hear me, Lord, and have mercy on me. Help me, O Lord.”
11 You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
12 that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!
New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust.

Thinking more about verse 9: If we are destroyed or cast into a pit, what gain is there to God? Can the dust praise God or proclaim his faithfulness? The psalmist bargains, pleads with God concerning his intrinsic value to God – not as preacher, teacher, breadwinner, or any other marketable skill. His main value to God is that of worshiper.

Does this tell us that our main value to God is that we praise Him, and he heals/restores us, giving us joy, so that we can praise Him, sing to Him and thank Him forever?

Praise God from whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

Read further about the author of the Doxology, which is actually the final stanza of a song for morning praise.

It's Not About ME

2008-06-03T09:29:00.009-04:00

1 John 3:14-20

The way we know we've been transferred from death to life is that we love our brothers and sisters. Anyone who doesn't love is as good as dead. Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know very well that eternal life and murder don't go together.
This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.
My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

(The Message (MSG) Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson)

counterculture - noun
a culture with lifestyles and values opposed to those of the established culture
WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University.

Ways American culture (and human nature) is opposite from a life lived for Jesus:

love of self / love for others

revenge / forgiveness

protection of self / sacrifice of self

me first / you first

get more / give more away

what is best for me / what is better for you

YouTube / being seen by God's eyes only

15 minutes of fame / legacy lived out in the lifetimes of descendants

work for glory / work as prayer (spoken only to God)

exposure / invisibility

skyscrapers and monuments / slums and orphanages

Is it just American culture that has issues with selflessness? Or is it human nature? Do we excuse too much of our self-centeredness by saying it's "second nature" (or "first nature" as we joked in Watering Hole small group last night)? Do we as Americans own the market on selfishness and simply assume that is the way God made us?

Earlier this week, we spent a day at Monticello - a glorious, intriguing monument to the life of Thomas Jefferson, built on the backs of enslaved people. He gets the glory, they get what's left of their homes' foundations on Mulberry Row.

The very next day, we drove from Charlottesville to Roanoke on the Blue Ridge Parkway. At Humpback Rocks (mileposts 5-9.3) we explored an Appalachian homeplace, including cabin, springhouse, root cellar, barn and farm equipment. I was struck by the differences between Monticello and this hard-working family setting. Monticello was all about Thomas Jefferson; Humpback Rocks was all about anonymity. The irony of Monticello is that its glory does not rightly belong to Thomas Jefferson; it belongs to the enslaved people who made it possible.

Theophilus, a monk who labored to build a cathedral in the twelfth century, writes of his invisibility and anonymity, "I have not written down my precepts for love of worldly praise, nor in hope of a reward here on this earth ... I have wanted to supply the needs and help the progress of many men for the greater honor and glory of His name."

Lord, help me be an invisible worker, faithfully constructing and creating "what I cannot even see myself." I will work for you, knowing that heaven is my greatest purpose. All of the labor for my family and church is creating a foundation for your glory and your honor.

Forgive me when I focus on me.

Read further: The Invisible Woman by Nicole Johnson (2005).

It's all about You, Jesus
And all this is for You
For Your glory and your fame
It's not about me
As if You should do things my way
You alone are God And I surrender to your ways

Jesus, Lover Of My Soul (It's All About You)
by Passion
album: Passion: The Road to One Day (2000)

People "knowing my business"

2008-05-31T05:25:00.011-04:00

2 Corinthians 5:16-20
16 So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! 17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 18 And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. 19 For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. 20 So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”
New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust.

I grew up in small towns, and it's true what they say about small towns. People do tend to know about other people, and there is a lot of "knowing my business," if you know what I mean.

Despite comments I have heard to the contrary, Roanoke, Virginia is not a small town, by any stretch of the imagination. To give Roanokers a little perspective, in 2006 (14 years after I left town), Caldwell, Idaho had reached a population of 34,433. Small. The population of Anacortes, Washington, where I lived from Kindergarten through 7th grade, tipped the scales at 14,577 in 2000 (again, 14 years after my family left town in 1986). In the year 2000, Roanoke had 94,911, and the Roanoke metropolitan area had 235,932.

These facts don't enlighten us about communities, however. In a small town, communities blend and overlap, and by the degrees of separation, a person can almost know everyone and everyone can "get up in your business." Recently, at lunch with colleagues, we learned that just about everyone was connected in some way. One person's girlfriend lived in the same neighborhood as the person who had come to do our computer training that day. Her in-laws lived in a colleague's neighborhood. We were all connected through vicinity, relationships, or other commonalities.

In the church, I have found that it's a real struggle to keep that kind of community in the large group (Sunday services) setting. But don't we, as humans, crave community? We desire to be in groups that understand us, speak the same language, listen to the same music. We want people to lean on, to be there for us when we have problems. My friend Scott Schmidt led Living Water's time at communion last Sunday. He shared with us that "genuine community is where people are growing together to love God’s Word and God’s people." And why do we want community? Simple. God created us that way. He is the author of community. It is my firm belief that the church should work actively to create community and redeem community to its rightful meaning.

When a person engages in relationships with others that are not simply "hi, how ya doin'" chats on Sunday mornings, investing in the lives of others in a small group setting, lives are transformed. When a person trusts their group and leaders, it's easy to open up and share his or her challenges and hardships. Be real. Be forgiving. Feel safe in a way that he or she may not be able to feel in a large Sunday setting.

I've had my heart broken many times by people who left the church for another worship setting. It was nothing personal, they said, just needed a change. Why was my heart broken? I had invested in their life. In almost every situation, they had experienced a very difficult life experience, and the large-group Sunday setting knew all about it. We didn't have the small group format for real life sharing and caring. Suddenly, everyone was "up in their business," and it didn't feel good. It was scary. Much easier to leave and start over instead of be viewed as damaged goods, imperfect people, human.

I get it. I really do. It would bother me to no end to have my personal life an open book. In my experience, it's so much easier to talk about the messy stuff of my life with 8 people, not 108. These people have become my friends, my family, and my lifeline.

Through small groups, Living Water reconciles people to Jesus and redeems community for his purposes. We gather on Sundays for common worship, adoration and to celebrate Jesus's death and burial through communion - together - but real personal growth and introspection is perfected in small groups.

Thanks to Scott Schmidt for his guidance as Tim and I continue the ministry he began at Living Water. Scott, I can't thank you enough for your wisdom and the passion for groups you have instilled in my soul. Michelle, you have taught me the value of true friendship - a person that looks unflinchingly at someone's real life and heart loves that person (me) in spite of her flaws and foibles.

Living Water's Discipleship Process

2008-05-28T06:47:00.006-04:00

Last year, Living Water undertook a wrenching process called "Simple Church" - a deceptively innocuous title to a book that stripped how we did "church" down to the bones and forced us to analyze how we work to create disciples.

Isn't that really what the church is supposed to do? In the process of creating "mission statements" and "purpose statements" and wondering "what is the job of the church?", doesn't it all come down to this question: How are we fulfilling the Great Commission - and what does that look like at this church?

Matthew 28:18-20
Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Today's New International Version (TNIV)
© Copyright 2001, 2005 by International Bible Society

A "coalition of the willing" met regularly, weekly, and painstakingly stripped the way we "do church" down and crafted a process that WORKS to create reproducing disciples of Jesus Christ.

With the help of the book, we even came up with an easily sketched model to demonstrate it - you can draw it on the back of a napkin or business card - to anyone who has questions.

Well? Are you curious? Dying to know the process Living Water uses to create disciples of Jesus Christ?

1) We help people CONNECT to God - in our current structure, this is best accomplished in our Sunday services. Connecting to God occurs anytime we gather to worship.

2) We strive to GROW reproducing disciples - we do this in Watering Holes (small groups) where people meet together to study and share life together. People who are participating in groups are growing and will eventually duplicate themself in someone else's life!

3) We live to SERVE others both inside the church body and out in the community. Service creates a level of discipleship that puts others first - check out Philippians 2 for more information on why we do this.

4) We need to GO - not just tell others about Jesus, but invest ourselves in their lives! By doing this, we are truly reproducing ourselves and making disciples of all nations.

This simple process of creating disciples (while it wasn't so simple to identify and create) enables us to focus on the real stuff of church - what Jesus made the church for in the first place. Church has become (for many people) a building with programs and activities. For Living Water, we want to focus on people - making reproducing disciples of Jesus Christ.

Look at the previous post (created by Andrew Potter at ShoutOut, LLC) to keep us focused on the discipleship goal.

Living Water's Discipleship Process

2008-05-24T11:58:00.001-04:00

Protection along the path

2008-05-24T06:50:00.001-04:00

Isaiah 26:7-8

The path of the righteous is level; O upright One, you make the way of the righteous smooth.
Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.

"The church is the only cooperative society that exists for the benefit of non-members."
-William Temple

Those of us who live in beautiful Southwest Virginia sometimes cock our heads and give a blank stare when we hear about the battles in Richmond over the "Transportation Funding" bill. It seems crazy to spend all of that money for roads. Except for congested I-81 and a few issues here and there, our roads are fine. What's the big deal?

Well, I have to ask you - have you ever driven in NOVA? Tim and I visited Richmond recently to attend a real estate class. Whoa. As soon as the congestion started, the bone-jarring potholes and cringe-inducing cracks began. We were borrowing our mechanic's car, as ours was in the shop, and we instinctively slowed down, not wanting to injure the car simply by driving on the road.

Now, a lot can be (and has been) said about Southwest Virginia and Northern Virginia being two totally different places, with totally different needs and concerns. But every time we get around Richmond or Washington, D.C., we have a new awareness of the importance of good roads ... and are happy to return to good old 581, 460, and even I-81. Seriously, folks, it's good to be home. I hate to pay more taxes, but if it will make my roads smoother when I visit NOVA, I'll have to say I'm happy to consider it.

In our small group (we call them "Watering Holes" at Living Water) this week, one of the guys in our group led us in prayer. God spoke to me in that prayer, and I did something I don't normally do when someone else is praying. I opened my eyes and started writing. He was thanking God for the protection he gives us by preparing our path. He thanked God for going ahead of us, filling in the potholes and directing our paths. He also asked for a deeper understanding of what other people go through because their paths are not as smooth as ours. Whoa. God convicted me of my smooth-path goodness in that moment. Yes, thank you, Father, for directing and protecting my path. Thank you for that provision and special care and forgive me when I do not appreciate it enough. Above that, though, Lord, open my eyes to the potholes and cracks that fill the pathways of those around me. Help me not to look down and shake my head, but extend my hands and heart and help them find the One who can direct their paths!

When I immersed myself in learning and public service at the American Studies Program in the spring of 1995, my teacher Steve Garber said something I just had to write down. "How is it possible to see into the meaning of one's moment in history, and to act responsibly - rather than be overwhelmed by either cynicism or sorrow, because the brokenness seems so deep, the pain so profound?"

As Tim and I minister with the small groups of Living Water Christian Church - the GROW aspect of our discipleship process - I pray that I live in gratitude for the blessings God has given, yet work tirelessly to bring people to a saving, life-changing understanding and love of Jesus Christ, no matter how messy and broken-down their path may be. May I point them toward the upright One who makes the way of the righteous smooth, not turn away from their brokenness and pain, overwhelmed by sorrow, cynicism and despair.

I'm not saying that choosing to follow Jesus makes everything perfect ... thorns and roots still find their way into the path to trip us up and cause problems. But fixing our eyes on Jesus sure takes away a lot of the potholes, cracks and distractions.

My sweet boy's dreams

2008-05-23T09:51:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, after a fun day with his grandpa and cousin Josiah, I was tucking 5-year-old Wilkin in for the night.

He prayed: Thank you, God, for making Josiah. And thanks for making him so great. And thanks for Grandpa bringing his kites today.

As always, he added: Please help me to have cool dreams – with the Magic School Bus and dinosaurs. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Wilkin prefers to pray for "cool dreams" instead of "sweet dreams." In his mind, sweet dreams are for girls, full of Barbies and pink princesses. Cool dreams are filled with race cars, trains, dinosaurs and the Magic School Bus.

To Wilkin, the nighttime prayer is a barrier - a hardhat, if you will - against dreams he prefers to avoid. He prays to keep his mind clear of pollutants.

Lord, protect my mind from things that should not be there. Keep my eyes fixed on you, and my thoughts full of pure images and goals that please you. Keep my speech full of words that point people toward you.

Hardhats

2008-05-23T08:12:00.000-04:00

Psalm 5:11-12

"But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield."

Before Tim and I married in June 1995, I had a nightmare that we decided to combine our last names instead of me taking his last name.

My name at the time was Jamie Hardenbrook. His last name is Hatfield. So, in my terror-filled dream, we legally became Mr. and Mrs. Tim and Jamie Hardhat. I remember waking up from the dream breathless and relieved that the wedding was still days away, and no name change had occurred. I was a concerned bride, terrified that my wedding announcement would show up as a one-liner on the Tonight Show.

After we had settled into Married Student Apartments at Milligan College, I had loosened up a bit. Over canasta and sweet tea one evening, I laughingly shared my dream with Mike and Jen Shanks, our fellow newlyweds two doors down. Soon, a metal hardhat showed up on our door, a gift from Mike that had belonged to his grandfather. That hardhat has followed me and Tim through six addresses now, and has become a treasured reminder of the Shanks' friendship.

Over the past 13 years, I have even come to treasure the moniker "hardhat." To me, it represents the protection that our families' legacies have given me, my husband and my children.

Tim and I enjoy legacies of faith and commitment to Jesus Christ. When we met at Milligan, we had so much in common - our fathers were preachers, our grandfathers were preachers, our uncles were preachers! We immediately had a common language, a common history, and a common understanding. Although our families' histories did not overlap, occurring on opposite sides of the country, we were kindred spirits. There has never been a question for either of us - Jesus Christ will be first in our home, hearts and activities. It's that simple.

The legacy of the Hardenbrooks and the Hatfields and Goodells and Wilkins is the same, and the strength of their faith and commitment is being lived out in our home. That steely strength has provided a protection for us, a barrier from the world that is not easily broken.

My prayer for my friends and church family members is for the same legacy to be lived out in their families' lives. My friends came to faith in their twenties and thirties, and are now navigating the paths of understanding as they reframe their family life and friendships in the light of Jesus Christ. Sometimes they seem to admire the family stability and foundation that we have and wish the same for their family. I am thrilled to tell them about my paternal great-grandfather, who was baptized as an adult, then went on to serve Jesus his whole life as he preached, baptized, and founded Boise Bible College and raised a family of descendants that follow his footsteps of faith and devotion. I am thrilled to tell them about Tim's paternal grandfather, who wasn't baptized until he had grandchildren, but has 4 children who live faithful lives, and multitudes of grandchildren and great-grandchildren who are walking in the footsteps of Jesus! Our families are filled with even more amazing stories of commitment to Jesus that I look forward to sharing in this blog.

What is just as exciting to me? The legacy of my friends' families is beginning now, and I am honored to witness the creation of these "hardhats" of protection and strong foundation of faith for their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. They are new disciples of Jesus Christ, and they are creating reproducing disciples in their own children and in the lives of their family members and friends. Now that is really cool.